Pie Taster

The Milk Marketing Board cook book did what it said on the tin. If it could work butter, milk or cream into anything it would. I have only ever tried to make a steak pie from first principles once in my life. The evening turned out to be so bad that I never bothered again.

I was living in a horrible flat in Winchester with Lynne. My job had come to an end so I was stuck home alone during that day. I had been given the MMB cook book for Christmas. With nothing better to do I decided to have a crack at making a steak pie. It was not great to be honest. The dish was too big for the amount of filling I had, it only went halfway up. The crust was dense and hard.

We ate at a table in the middle of our room. White walls stained with mould and running with condensation.  Lynne had a go at her bit of pie when she got back from college. She did not seem keen.

I was lying on the bed reading the NME. I remember clearly there was a huge article on the band Therapy? They were in America and we photographed throwing shapes in the sunshine. I seemed a million miles from our damp room.

‘We need to talk; I think we should split up.’

I guessed that this might be coming. She had been quietly laying the ground for some time. I starred at the paper, like a school kid struggling for the answer. She said we were a great team, but did not love me. She had tried to tell me this before, encouraging me to stay in France that summer. But I closed my ears. Now she told me straight, in that shitty flat in Winchester, in January.

There was nowhere to go, no spare room. It was a long night. I have never fancied making a pie again.